The Cultural Light Switch: My Xmas in the USA

What a night to come back to! Since I wrote last I have been back to the states, and then back to Cotonou, Benin again. I actually just arrived to Cotonou tonight. I had a good trip, but I'm not going to miss the cold weather. I just came in from dipping my feet in the warm pool, while enjoying the warm breeze. Its liberating to where my capris again, and the air on my bare shoulders is so relaxing. Call me crazy, but I think this might be what it feels like to be glad to be back. As I sat there I watched the swarm of bats who were circling the pool, just barely above me. There is nothing scary about bats, but there is tons that is fascinating about them. First of all, they thrive in the climate over here, so many times you will find a grove of trees that (in the daylight) look like they might just be a new species of tree who grows black leaves instead of green. Tonight they are active though, and I cant figure it out, but they are swooping down and just barely tapping the surface of the pool, then circling back up into the sky. At first it looked like fish might be jumping out of the water, because the bats are so fast that you only see the water move, but then you see their small white undersides as they circle back around above. There is something incredibly relaxing about watching this... but I imagine that will be hard to relate to for most people.

Anyway, enough about bats!!! I'll talk about my trip instead. First of all, I would like to clear up something that could easily be misconstrued: Because I'm glad to be back (in Benin) does not mean that I was glad to leave (Oklahoma). It was a great trip, and I had a great time visiting with friends and family.

It was also an eye-opening trip. I learned many things about myself and how I've changed. I also learned that other people back at home have changed as well, and I realized that, in many cases, some of my good old friends and I might be going seperate ways while others are becoming closer friends. I also felt a deep love for those friends who made sure that I knew they hadn't forgotten me. That fear of being forgotten was one of my biggest when I left for Benin.

The oddest thing that I finally realized, was that going home came naturally to me, and within days it felt as though I never left. It almost seemed like living in Benin was an intense dream that kept occasionally flickering in my mind, but nothing more. Also, I forgot I speak French. My French was fine once I got on the Air France flights, and it was wierd when I heard something and understood it long before realizing it wasnt in English, but while I was at home it really felt like I didnt know Fench. For instance, at one point I was talking to someone who was telling about how they almost called me in Africa because I was the only person they knew who spoke French, but at first I almost said, "What!? I dont speak French." ... but then that dreamlike haze flickered before me before I replied, and I realized that those hazy dreams were all in French. It's like flipping a light switch. When the lights are off, there is no evidence that they had ever been turned on, but you manage to find your way around the room as if you knew it by heart. Does that make sense????

Once I got to the Paris airport I ran into another volunteer, and we were both surprised that we had come to many of the same realizations from our trips home. I also noticed that I felt so comfortable to be back around another volunteer. I wonder if that will apply to other volunteers from other parts of the world? On va voir.

It's wierd to think I might be different in ways unbeknown to me. It's even odder to imagine what I would be like if I had stayed in the US and gotten an office job. I like to reflect and wonder on these things, but the truth is I don't think I could have made a better choice. Just as I remember saying before joining, "I want to shake up my world." I think I'm doing well so far on that.

I'd like to keep shaking things up though. I guess I like to keep myself lost and confused. I think I'm going to try to go to Asia next. I'd like to give Mandarine Chinese a try, but I'm overwhelmingly intrigued by Nepal and India. Nepal especially.

Well, I would love to give you a more detailed report on my trip and my arrival, but I should be getting to bed. Besides, I can't imagine you would find it very interesting. I will say though I did manage to pack exactly 99.5 Lbs., most of it packaged food. Hahaha! Those poor customs agents. They must hate me!

Anyway, I hope all of you had as merry of a Christmas I did, and an equally happy New Year.

Sarah

P.S. Courtney! I don't have your email address or phone number, or any of your current info. If you could, please email it to me at sarahinafrica@gmail.com. Thanks!